If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize