So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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