My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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