I accidentally burped into my bong.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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