Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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