I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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