You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize