I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Alive.
So much puke
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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