I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize