Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize