I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize