i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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