sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize