I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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