The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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