It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize