I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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