Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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