I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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