His hands were made for my vagina.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize