I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize