I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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