I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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