I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
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My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
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Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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