Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
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The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
BRING THE BAGELS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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