Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
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trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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