6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize