it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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