he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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