The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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