Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Are my feet made of real feet?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My vagina is officially offended.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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