better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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