also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize