Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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