I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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