I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize