i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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