the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
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While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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