I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
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There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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