he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize