Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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