I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
try to milk me bitch
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