no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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