he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize