Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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