She is in my trunk
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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