u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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