she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize