Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize