Your tits are I can't wait for
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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